I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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