To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
