STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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