dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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