So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize