they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
