I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
