My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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