hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
