what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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