life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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