Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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