I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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