Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
