is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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