i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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