Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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