Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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