God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
