Dual....:-)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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