Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
