mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize