Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
