So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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