I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So vagazzling was a success
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
