Cold hands, warm shart.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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