I want to have your abortion
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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