u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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