Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize