beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize