Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
