Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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