tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
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If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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