so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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