walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
