So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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