My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
