the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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