he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The feeling are messing with the penis
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
