If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
