we have officially lost it.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
