Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
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He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
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Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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