this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
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