who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
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dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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