Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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