you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
