You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
