hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
