he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
