you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
