I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
