An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
