ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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