Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
