When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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