Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
