Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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