I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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